Moonkey's Lafe

deear diary, today i felt i was going to be torchured. why wood mather and fother take me to that place "the vet" where they hurt me and scare me and they are meen and they wont go to haven? ok. i felt kold so i shivered. i wasnt afraid. i am brave. i shook and trambled like a leaf but only because maybe i caught a chill. then nina mohr who is mine doctor put lights in my eyes twice. sticks in my bum. fingers in my bum. sharp sticks in my legs. pressed my nees, pressed my back, listened to my hart, felt my neck, felt my fat and talked to me. i tried to sit on the scale becawse i need to know what i weight. everybady said "he should lose wait". i wont. i lake to eat. in fact, i was starving for my dinner. it's true. they didnt give me dinner. i felt starving becawse i had to walk almost 50 blocks already. but no. no foods. then papa gave me leetle bites of yumyum becawse i was brave and good and i will go to haven. the news is so good. i am grate and healthy and

deear dairy, this is deer old maggie before she went to haven. she was very funny because she had bad hips and would only get up to chase me. i enjoy auld females sometimes. maggee went to haven at least one year ago. i see her mam and i see she was sad many times. now she is walking with a different dawg. that dawg is not nice like maggy. maybe one day we will be friends. the end!

deear diary, this is my grindpaw's birfday today but he is in haven. we have the same mittle name and we both enjoy eating and napping. he lakes kofi but i dont. we both lake beaf. we both lake potato. we both lake many foods and eggs and sleeping. everybady says we would lave being frends. he would lave to laff with me and i know i lave him. he is gentle ben and he will pet me. i miss him. won day we will all live in haven unless we are meen. apo is busy because he has so many to take care of like ben, bo, alfee, sam, many more cats, turtles. plus he drinks kofi and congnac with albert, josef, oma, opa, his fother, his mather, brathers, sisters, plus frends. he is bizzy! happy burthday, apo. the end.

I hafta rub and roll in my rug to get that harness feeling off me. dear lard it feels gud. i am smiling for the camra

this was wance when i went to el lay for the fermers market. they had froots and nuts. i eight some.

deear dairy, this is where i sat to keep an I on the house when i am at my amo and ninja 2.5 story townhouse in mindapoor. it's gud to see what is going on and keep a ear perked up. i ken walk through the dining room and over the back of the cowch or any way i want. i can watch tw. i can see bunny out back. i can go to sliding door. i ken do meny things. or i ken just have a leetle knap. the end!

and i will be free on the beech!i will make scaree big shadohs! the end!

ninja and amo sent me $10000000. today! i will buy my mather more colifronia kofis! in colifronia!

dear diary, when i want to cowgalary i had to stay in a indoor storage shed on the flor. i brought bunny so i could take my rage on him. i felt confused feelings and angrer abowt where is my fother. where is zoey. where is the dag run?

this was a bite too much to see fother snuggling up to my brather mikey in wegas. mikey is not too smert. but then he is also not too nice. he is NOTHING like me. he is annoying. at least my brather jeffrey is annoying and nice. mikey is quiet. sometimes he is laud. his ears flop down. now i miss him. he was funny.

i am dressed lake a mekanick to fix your gulf woksvagen.

Tired.

this is my hidden side so please respekt my privacy.

dear diary, i know i should be blagging but i am distraktid by reading the internets. maybe later. oh well. the end.

Wot are they thinking?! To torcher me? It's working.

dear diary, some peeple like to eat in restoraunt and order small plates. i have mine own small plates at home. everyday i eat the best foods on them so they are the best small plates. mather bought them in goodwill for our subletters and they are from japang. now they are mine. they can go in the oven to make warm food or on the flor with cold foods. i will eat them all, all day long! the end!

this rotkraut cat in los wegas wouldnt not stop smelling my bum! that is rong and not correct and i didnt lake it one bit. it gives me bad memorys. it gave me a feelin of "NO! do not do that. i am bizy and i am a dag!"

dear diary, i have bin to the dessert. i must say, i enjoyed myself grately. i dug sand like a devul, i ran like maniak, i climbed like a gote and i came face to face with a rare and strange dessert tortus. i lave the dessert. the end.

Mather is working. Father is working. I'm enjoying retireded lafe looking out tha window on a hotpatch. It sure is kold! but not on my hotpatch.

This is Haven.

 i felt tired in one pichur but not in other! do you guess which one is which one?!!

dear diary, i went so many times to so many oshens. this time i went to BIG sir in colifronia. mather held me high up on a cliff above the oshen. i felt brave and tall. wanderful. the end!

dear diary, this is my grate grindmather in chicagoo. she laves me and tells me she laves me. i lave her.

It is minus 64 Celsius. No heet! Mather gave hot patch.

dear diary, another day of walking in the perk with fother and mather. mather prefers to go, go, GO! fother and i, we lake to sit in son like a kat. sometimes mather wins, sometimes fother and me win. sometimes half and half. this was a bit half and half this time. lafe is short. everybady should stop and soak in the son. the end! fother and i try to soak it in mather stands and waits then mather sits for a foto with fakery smiles i stare and wander why she won't sit why are you so rastless, mather, i wander

dear diary, i miss warm days where i sat around sunbothing. not too hot, not too cold. just wanderful days. p.s. can you guess which park am i in? is it riverside or central park? guess! guess both!

i tried to do the russian splits but i couldnt. fother can.

dear diary, one year mather and i drassed up as a french seaside couple for halloween. then we went to a cafe in LA that doris friend owned and sat indoors properly on a bench. we looked lake a smashing cauple.

dear diary, i dont lake when fother acts lake a bully. he picks me up like i am object becawse he can. meanman! ia'm kidding. it's okay, fother. it's funny. i lake it. pick me up agin and agin! tha end!

yesterday we went to see philip at bouchon bakery in time warner centre for kofis. i ate a few things off the floor then i slept on mather's lap with my chin on the table. they brought my ninja pad for my coamfort. i also slept on fother's lapt or sometimes put chin on fother's lap. it is so cute!

dear diary, im tired. fother is tired. mather is tired. last night fother couldnt sleep and then he woked up mather at 4 am and they laffed and laffed so i woked up. then 8 am, uh oh. i felt bad in my tummy. uh oh. it's too early but i have to poop NOW. i snuffle and sniffle and try to wake mather. i wait by the door. mather is sleeping on the zofa. mather wake up! let's go out and poop! finally, mather and i ranned outside in sunglasses and rain boots. i walked two steps and and made a giant poop. i don't know why. it happened yesterday too. sick stomach. mather says i ate bad foods on street. maybe the foods are covered in snow salt. mather says it's ok. you go back to bed mank. i am tired. i feel drained of lafe and i sleep all tired now. mather didnt sleep. she wartched tv. fother slept. today is another day. maybe i will find healthier snacks on the sidewalk today. the end!

it seems lake it is kool to wair sunglasses. ok. how are these? mather says they suite me. do they? probably.

nobady NOBADY can't cetch me!!

deer diary, when i was yanger, i felt more starving. one day, mather threw out perfectly good carton of milk in recycling. what a waste! i smellt milk. i said, "dear lard! i am hangry. why would i waste good milk?" i wont. so i took it to hide in my bed. plus, everybady says it's important to ferment foods. so. great. it will ferment in my bad. mather took it away. too foolish! the end.