Moonkey's Lafe

This is callt: "Yourn Eyes" by Tubbon P. Beck It is four mine mather. Yourn eyes have looked at MINE eyes And seen that I am a gud dag Whom you find tarribly handsum Yourn eyes have looked into MINE eyes And told me that you lave me And I will git a pet or a treet or both Yourn eyes have looked threw MINE eyes To find MINE sole weighting To meet yourn sole four a moment Yourn eyes have looked over MINE eyes And alowd sed that you wander If MINE eers need cleening* Yourn eyes and MINE eyes ken see Haven in wan another Forever becawse we lave wan another Forever. *(NO, they don't not!)

Wot do you lake to do on wan Sundate? I ken prefer to do nothing except sometimes meat panky and chewla in riverside (mine perk) wairever we go up to Ellington in tha Perk . Here we ken eet outside and drank beers. I lake Hefeweisen but usually drank waters. Than I git bites of kwesadila, burger and sometimes fries but no piazza krusts. I lake to look out at tha Hudson, which is mighty and think: wairever are tha fishes swimming to? Are they going to stay in fresh water or tha ohshun? Is that wan deern I saw jumped acrosst the way in tha Jersey palisades? Whom is going to order tha grass fed burger and ken I git sum? wot is on tha garbage barge which has smellt so interesting? How do trees feel? why does tha air feel lake fresh fram Canada? I also lake to think __________________________________________________________________. That meens blank becawse it is Sundate wairever you should rest wan bit. Tha End!

Todate is Mam's brithdate whom is vairy old. SHe will be shocked and awed wan she sees wot have I gotten her. I had seen tha rat taking piazza down tha subways stares and thot: "I ken git that piazza four mam's britthdate and she ken give me tha krust!" (Thanks, Laccu!) My my my, she will be surprised wan I drag this wan out fram under tha sofa wairever it has been fermenting nicely.

I am practicing Mine rushing straddle splits. Later I will do mine yoga.

I had dranken too much melted dag yogurt yesterdate evening. Then I had felt lake drunk. Sojo says he looks lake wise (I am). However, mam says "meen drunkt". Whom is korrect?

Haven't you not never invited Zoey over four a post-snewball fight game of chase whilst yourn longjohns dried on tha radiator? Well roll up tha carpet and git down to tha business of playing. It is a wanderfull feeling to play and play until you drop down halfway ded fram happy exhawstshon. P.S. Zoey has tricky maneuvers but I ken ketch her every time. I am a maniak.

we had barked at dags whom dared to come wairever we set up a picknick then peed on ourn perimeter. "watch yourn step, fello dags. This is wairever we declared ourn safe zone."

Todate they (mind family whom is anti ninjoke and Lady Amo Grindmather) are moving to git closer to tha dag perk and to wairever I ken find some street foods and crumbs. I ken see you at tha nu place wairever I will rub all over tha carpit and brek in tha nu cowch. Watch out becawse Tubbon will be coming to town! Pleez wake me wan you've finished setting up yourn home and I will be right over.

Mam and Papa will take tha dag (I, Bottun) to tha perk four a sontan. In tha meentime  I am thinking wot should I git Mam four hern Brithdate. Maybe peenut butter.

Everybady has asked: Ken he show us his man-kini and long-johns-in-wan agin? Here is it. Mam sez I look lake an lettle angel in tha first wan and lake a clown in tha second wan. I have gotten menny grate looks and sides such as angel, devil, hero, baby, monster, gorilla, monkee, boss, lamb and a true gent.

Wan mens wair Franch stripes, you ken see hear it looks lake tha best.

Mam sed she had worn franch stripes menny times and with me and ken prove it and she had worn Birkenstalks and ken prove it. She kennot understand that even if we git dressed in stripes together, it is males whom look lake speshul in franch stripes. I have gotten to prove she has gotten stripes or she won't not let me blag becawse wimmen are vane.

Fram Laccu: Q: Is it true that you like peanut butter foods more than pizza crusts? Bottun: Correct. Mam: Q: Is it true that you like pizza crusts more than peanut butter. Bottun: Correct.

Todate mam skyped with mine amo and ninjoke while i had been thrown into a both. It is embarrassing to be seen lake a wet rat. However, everybady remarked: "he sure seems to enjoy a yogurt and peenut buttered lick whilst in tha both." And you ken say they are keen observers.

Menny have asked: Kennot you not do a blag wairever we ken git kweshons about you answered? OK. Q: Aren't you as strong and muscly lake you look? Bottun: Correct. Q: Haven't you not always been barking and lunging at tha windo wan the pit bull mix walks past yourn block. Bottun: Correct. Q: Hadn't tha pit bull owner with bearly disguised contempt and rolling eyes sed: "He (it is Bottun) even barks at me when I'm not with Bella." Bottun: Correct. Q: Hadn't everybady in yourn nayborehood called you "Tha Dag's Dag Whisperer"? Bottun: Correct. Q: Hadn't Fiona sed every date "Mine Lard he has gotten tha perfekt figure and is wan handsum deviled"? Bottun: Correct. Q: Hadn't peeple whom touched you often remarked how you have gotten strong thick hares on yourn ridge? Bottun: Correct. Q: Hadn't you wance found wan injured skwirl and weighted until yourn Mam came over and rescued it? Bottun: Correct.

Haven't you not never met him? He is a bold raskal whom eets whatever he ken desire. If you haven't herd his story he was a foundling lake me. Pappa founded him in Riverside Perk in a small pet bag which was gold and canvas. He had been abandoned and left to tha elements on The DATE OF ST. FRANCIS where I had gone to church four a blessing. Ourn frand whom became mine human wife (she is Fiona whom bought me treets) adopted him. He gits carrots, berries, hay and runs wairever he wants in tha apartment. She had banned him fram her bedroom becawse he enjoyed eeting her sheets wan he was bored. Wot a devill!

This foto is wairever you ken count a few of MINE beds. Such as: the fluffy sheep on tha floor, tha classic bed in tha fourground, tha flannel rapped kushon on the rearranged sofa kushon, tha shelf above tha radiator wairever MINE hotpatch goes in winter and finally MINE german-about-town pad in tha window. Don't not worry. Mam and Pappa have putten non-skid under the wans on tha shelf so I ken jamp up and down without skidding. Wan date I ken show you tha other two beds in MINE bedroom. It is grate to have choices and variety. It ken spice up yourn lafe. P.S. Sometimes I just sit on the sofa wairever they lake to sit so I ken warm it up a bit for them. This ken be another grate opshun.

I ken agree that it is grate to wair Franch stripes with man's Birkenstocks. I lave to eet peenut buttered wan I wair mine.

Mine frands, I ken tell you, wan you have started to hed home after a late mourning wok with mam and pappa, you ken feel greatfull wan you get picked up four a few blocks while you cool down wan bit. Mam sed pappa and me look too grate together especially wan you see MINE prowed tale dangling. But don't worry becawse I had gotten plenty of exercise and it waasn't not a carry except for a minute or two. It was a wok. Tha End!

Yesterdate mine mam and mineself had gone four a wok in Riverside wairever you ken see this year's students sculptures. It wasn't too hot. You ken maybe see me in tha bird and mam in her stripes. I had eeten grass and thrown up. Mam had sed "Poor deer. NO more grass."