Moonkey's Lafe

I wander if memmy's phone is under there somewhere. it is zo sad to remmember my mather had her pone to take that pitcher. find it, nanji!

 My mather tells me today is very special day. We will lie around all day and not move a muscle. i 'ave been practising for some time. my fother is best at it. he still hasnt' moved one muscel. we will eat many speshul foods too! I lave this holiday! THE end!

I used to be frends with ninja. then she took my mather pone and won't give back so now we refuse to speak to her. plus we have no phone to speak on. we are poor now and no pones! old frendships die. oh well. that's too bad. i enjoyed my friends nana and yaya for company last night. i entertained in my home. the end!

Dear diary, Happy new Years! Lave, Bitten The End! of 2012!

 DeaRdiary, I was having a lavely nap. nice and worm. suddenly my mather snatched me up and put me in sink. i felt humilated like a tiny baby. but i am a big boy. she soaked me with water over and over and gave me a both in the sink. horrible! then she put me in the bothtub and let me shake and shake and shake. i had to rub for so long to get the terrible water feeling off my body. i went through living hell. I hate boths. now i smell like oatmeal not nice basmati. my little head doesnt smell like lavely wood smoke like after i got blowdry. i hate everything forever and ever. amen.

dear DIary, I miss running in sand and beach and hking plus farmer market plus plantiful sanshine. i'm such a little derling batterball turkey.

DearDiary, It's my mather's bath time. I heard my fother say I would have to have a both, too, but not until I'm over my jetlatch. It will be a long time before I'm over it. Shhhh. My mather loves it when i keep her campany while she has a bath. Hurry Mather! It's getting cold! The Ends!

Dear Amo and Ninja, This is my new hot patch. That is frosty duck beside me. Whan are you coming home? Lave, Bitten

Dear Deary, I am home! I hate these: I am home! Last night the doorbell rang and fother said it was Amo and Ninja but they decided not to come up after all. How disappoint! They have memmy's phone and for some reeson wont give it back. Maybe they will come wisit when my mether is at yoga and my fother goes to matinee and I am all alone. I mess them! My Amo says I am good boy and took care of my feet. My AMo and I both had sore feet! Ninja gave me a piece of a dog jacket and a luck 'o the irish. I wish we could all sleep in NINJa bed. I got hot flesh pad for Christmask. It is hot square like sunshine. My fother gave me a big tummy rub and Camper sent me a video of John Denver singing Christmask with the muppets. It was wonderful wanderful! Fother has nice proper fur like me because we are related. The End!

Dear Diary,Ninja and Fother got me a traditional Hadson Bay coat! I'm not allowed to get it dirty. I have to be a proper young gentileman. The End!

I was a big boy. I went out in the field and ate wild bunny poop. I laves it. They won't give me foods. I am resiurcefold.

Dar Diary, My Amo gave me orange boots so I can go visit Annie plus frolic in snew plus make poop outside. i look smert in my longjohns and boots. Snew went in my ear and I shaked my head. I ran and laffed and played "cetch me if you can" with my fother but he couldn't. The End.

My dear lavely dyari, It is a crying shame I'm in colagree and still no Annie. That's not good. Maybe she died in child going out to pee. I saw snow. I looked at how nice. I went out and burned my little black pads with a tiny bit of pink. I felt shaved naked. So much cold pain. My mam and ded have so many warm coat and boot and hat and warm. Why we can't get me warm pants and hat and boot?  I feel pain, and disappointed. My Amo and Ninja have long hairs and young face and shranken bodies. I  wander wot they bowght me fir christmatch. I ate bison and wanderful egg. I am constipated. My father nepped on my pillow with me. I can't wait to open prasents I saw under the tree.

I ate mangoo on the beach. A Mexican lady cut it and we paid for it. We are on holiday in the sunshine state. I behaved well and I was indepandant. I ate fish, beef, chicken, pork, yam, cauliflower, beet, brassel sprout, appel and more! I lave Colifronia.

I am in LA where all the stars live. Beverly Hills! Lap of laxury. We are at a fancy hotel. I have laxury down bed on butterscotch caramel leather with velour faux fur cover. wanderful! I saw Jane lynch. I ate fancy food. I lave it.

 Dear Dary, My mather likes it when I model. I made a wanderful bed beside the dog bed. I got a bit bored and almost fell asleep. Whoa! I almast fell out of my bett!  This is my Gap commercial look of american innocence. I lave the ole USA! These are some of my stuffed friends having a nape with me in a fresh warm sheete. Why am I so tired all the time? I'm exhausted. I ate tripe, asparguys, poatotoe, yam and even some wild solmon for dinner. It's heavy in my stomach plus I have to go out and poop! I'm going to see Cemper's Christmask tree now. Wanderful! THE END!!!!

Dear dary, my Mather puts MY bed on sofa with the radiator behind me and down pellow on top. I loove it. The end.

Leeba Oma, Ich krataleerin Du guy! I lave you! Wanderful! I went outside at 6 this marning and made poop! Wanderful! My tummy hurts, Oma. I loove the snow. I'm going to Califronia and I will eat fruits and hike and lie in the sun! How wanderful life is! I hope you feel healthy and happy on 12/12/12. Pleese enjoy some edelweiss birthday cake from me and dinner and 4 magazines. I sent you money!Lave, Jardon P.S. MY mather says she will mail you a Dinkle right after ChrIstmas when we get home to Yew Nork. How wanderfull!

Dear Diary, Why is my lafe so horrible?! This morning I went for family walk in the fog and ate a chicken bone. Everythang felt great andhappy. Than I came home and my fother took his bag with wheels and left. I cried bitter. He didn't stop! Why won't he stay with me? I hate lafe. The Eend.

Dear Diarea! hahaha. I'm going to colgory soon. I'am going to sleep in the sun agin until i feint. i lave it! Be sure to put a nice water boll outside because i get hot! that hot sun is stark because it's hoch there, my Amo tole me. The ENd.

Dear Diary, Thith is Camper helping his grandma pack for her trip back to Oztralia. I napped on Camper's welcome mat last night just outside his pee palace. It was comfy. The grondmather gave me pets and hugs all the way from Oztralia. Cemper got none but watched us. That;s too bad. Oh well. I enjoyed the pet. THE AND!

DearDiary, I felt like I was in prason! Hahaha. Jest kidding. I was in a Canine Cart helping my mather shop. I lave popcorn but was only allowed to smell the bags through the prison. Oh well. THE END!

It's the most wanderful time of the year. The End!

He is the beast ever do guys!?