Moonkey's Lafe

...eeten whipped creem beside the elbe river as tha ships had come in and out in Hamburg, Germany. Tha chips are magnificent beests whom you ken stair at four hours after you have finished all tha whip you ken be "allowed" to eet becawse you are treeted lake a child whom has not gotten any free will and kennot eet as menny whips as you wuld lake.

Look everybady! I had finally gotten wan corn cob at the BBQ! Not long after I had eeten this fother eeted wan metal bristle fram tha bbq brush that they had cooked into his burger. He had gone to EMERGENCY and they had putten a camera into his nose so they kuld take out tha brush. Now he feels lake grate.

Heded out to tha perk on an irly morning urgent and smellt a 14" ded rat decaying in the humid whether? It is vairy strong and pungent and ken draw you over for another inhale.

Todate is vairy hot. Mam gave me a tarrible both with plenty of shampoo and conditioner. Blech. Mine grate dag smell felt smothered. I dried on a sun patch then she sed: "Surprised! We are going to tha perk four an ice cream frozen yogurt with your Germany pad so your lettle paws kennot fall thru tha slats." I felt lake she understood lafe and is wise. However, she decided we should sit in tha shade. I felt 8% damp and was eeting mine frozen yogurt ice creem so I shivered fram kold in 90 F whether. (This is 31 C). She sed "Fine we will sit in tha son. Warm up MINE darling." Then i inhaled sum bacon fram mine yogurt. Than I coffed it up. Then I walked on tha feeld and used the facilities outdoors. It felt lake a grate date. Did you?

This is wairever I had gone invisible lake a gost almost. Heer you ken see mine new hair conditioner plugged into tha wall, the new sofa s. mixed up cushons for mam and a sunny corner. Hear you kennot find me. Wair is Bottun, the sofa, the cord? Lake a gost.

Wot a date I have had! Mather came threw tha door right after mine dinner right when papa left for work! She had brought me Canadian treets fram mine amo and ninjoke. Here is wairever things had gotten interesting. I felt confused becawse: Why hadn't I gone to visit them? They lave me. Hadn't she not told me she was going to see her mam? Then I lerned: her mam is MINE grondmather (THis is OMA but we ken call her AMO). Her sister is MINE anti ninjo. Wot a small wurld it is wan thair are so menny coincidences. The best part: I had a dessert treet fram mine small bag they had sent me as a gift. Don't not worry, her mam and her sister, I will meat you in Ontario soon so I don't have to fly so far.  

Pleez don't not ask me to blag. I'm feeling vairy sad. I haven't not seem my mam since 32 hours. She had taken tha small suite-case and wispered "I am going to see my mam. I will misst you. I will be right back. I lave you." Mine hart hurts, I feel boring, I misst mine evening massages and I misst mine mamm. Papa sez "Don't not worry Button. Tomorrow is mine date off. we will have mens day and sleep in and eet bad foods. Than we are going for a dag 'n taco party wairever Chula and Panky live. You will lave it. Mam, pleez hurry back fram wairever you had gone. I kennot lake lafe when you are gone.

Haven't you not met tha cardinals of new York city? They are wanderfull neighbours.

kennot you see why I lave Zoey too much? She is tha gratest.

I am currently in Central Perk gitting wan belly rub fram Papa while we observe: cardinal, blue Jay, wood picker and red wing blackbird.

Ranned and chased birds in low tide at Spanish Banks Vancouver? I had done so on menny summer dates until every bird flue off in terror. I had also made menny frands and walked thru menny warm pools of water. You ken try it wan date.

Stayed at The Parker in Plam Springs? It is the height of sofisticashon wairever a dag ken live tha lafe.

Wan I had seen Panksy and Chewlah on thair pillos. I had sed "grate idea". It feels lake a dreem clowd. however I kennot not see nor smell chikens. Also I have felt jalousies that I kennot pull a "Ghandi" such as Laccu. "They" are bullies whom pick me up lake a 10 lb sack of potatoes. However i weight 10.8 pounds.

These are mine gurlfrands Pinky and Chula. Wan is fram NYC and wan is fram Meksiko. We have formed a gang called LOS ALBINOS. They live in a YUGE apartment in West Harlem. I live in a tiny apartment on the Upper West Side wairever you ken walk to MINE perk (it is Riverside) or you ken walk to Central Perk. They had envied me MINE viewing platform so thair mam and ded sed "We'll make tha gang members wan perch, too." Now they ken enjoy tha grate outdoors and tha sights of nyc streets such as KFC and cars fram wan giant pilo pak. Wot a treet! Pleez let me know if anybady drops chiken and I'll run thos fifty blocks as fast as a cheeta to git it. Pinky stairs out tha windo at KFC (chiken is her favrit food) Chewla also keeps an eye on KFC chiken

made tha akwaintance of Frito? She is vairy entertaining and spoilt. She had gotten wan grate brush out in mine perk. She had barked four treets and she had  layed down and pritended she was too tired wan her mam sed no more treets. Frito is 13, plays ball and takes nerve pills four her sky-attic pains.

YOU WILL NEED TO TURN UP YOUR VOLUMES.

She had wance bin a child. She had wance never understood lafe or had a fully formed brane. Now she is wan wisely woman who had given me mine mam and tot her how to mather. Thairfour, Happy Mather's Date to her and all tha dag, Kat, bird, animal including human Mather's of tha wurld. Lave, Brutton I beleeve this had bin taken in 1820.

Deer Lard, Pleez keep me, mam, Papa, Amo, mine antis, all kreeashon safe, healthy, Peecefull and keep me "humble". Amen

Encountered the ancient endangered desert tortuss near las vegas? You ken smell tha wisdom fram one mile away.

met your doppelganger and felt lake you were stairing into your own sole until suddenly everything maid sense? Tis a pity to never have such a "profound" experience.

to tha karabean in mixeco? hadn't you never slept beside tha shun? shared a hammick with your papa? walked tha peer with your memmy? staired acrosst tha shun to africa thinking about tha meening of lafe? crusted your entire snout in fine white sand until you feel lake wan with tha urth? well then MINE frand, you haven't not lived.

hiked in Runyon Canyon in El Lay? Tha celebrities I had met!!!!! My my my.

Ranned on tha wild beeches of northern Germany? I had while Papa swimmed naked.

Walked in two seas in northern Denmark? Wot a trip.

bin to Berlin? Tha sausage is vunderbar.

gone RVing in Colifrania? I did. I slept in Big Sir.

Ranned around lake Louise in tha winter until you  couldnt not feel your toes? Mine lard it is crisp.

soaked up tha son in tha foothills of tha Rockies while wairing a whimsical sun bonnet? If not, I trooly pity you.

been sacrificed to tha Greek gods on Sicily? It Ken be vairy frightening.

hadded tha pleasure of Amsterdamn? Pleez zoom in to see me.

gone to Mewnik Octoberfest? How sad.

Been to Prawg? No? Too bad.

Laccu is prabably a nice brather becawse he is a boss. Ken you see how annoying Jaffrey is?

Kennot you remember grindmather amo and ant ninja? It has been too yeers ago todate wan it was hotter than the devil's drawers lake 25 sellsius and suddenly wan human foot of snew? That had shocked everybady and I had to wair mine hudson bay coat and mine prague rainjacket.Wot a wanderfull crazy whirled.